The Urban Dictionary describes toxic positivity as “the belief that, if you stay positive, you will overcome any obstacle,” to such a degree that you invalidate natural emotional responses and the person having those feelings.”

People think they’re being helpful when they offer such advice as “You’ll get over it” or “Just be positive” or “Think happy thoughts.” But what if that isn’t what the other person needs or wants. Sarah Schuster writes about toxic positivity and self-described radically honest psychotherapist, Whitney Hawkins Goodman’s helpful chart.